It took me about three decades to come to terms with my limitations.  I always expected “greatness” from myself, I had this conception that I could and should be greater and better than what I actually was.  Always striving and never achieving the standard of…the world?  myself?  I included God in the picture, and His expectations topped them all.

Limitations are like property boundaries.  They define what you can achieve and cannot.  I have been around long enough to have observed inequality. Not every person is born with an equal amount of ability.  Or wealth.  Or privilege.  And the ability or inability that we carry around with us for nine or ten decades really has nothing to do with our choosing.  Given a choice, I think we would all go for the highest IQ, the most money, and the elite social group, right?

Some things just are not achievable for me because of my limitations.  For example, cheerleaders are popular and admired in high school – but – I could not be one, even though I would have enjoyed the perks!  I was not given gymnastic ability, and imitating the outgoing personality of a cheerleader, for me, would be a lot of work!  So, being a cheerleader was off-limits to me.  That hurt, but I’ve moved on.  🙂  It is a boundary that I can’t cross, no matter how much I think I or anyone thinks that I should be a cheerleader.

People are born with:  drug addictions, down’s syndrome, autism, cerebral palsy, skin sensitivities, a tendency to obesity, and thousands of other conditions that they did not choose.  People are born without:  all of their arms and legs, functioning kidneys, any arms and legs, brains that function “normally”, access to food, etc.  Call them conditions that have a profoundly limiting affect on what they can “do” in life.

Although I no longer aspire to cheerleading, thank God, I struggle, still, with limitations.  There are still so many boundaries around what I can and can’t do, who will accept me, what knowledge I have.  And I did not willingly put any of those fences in place.  Being in a time of job transition has made my limitations seem like mountains.  While they lurked on the horizon while I was employed, I kept them at bay, being occupied with the work at hand and the “comfort” of being qualified and excellent at my job.  Every so often on the job someone would kindly or unkindly remind me of my limitations, but it was relatively easy to sail through to tomorrow.

However, now, in the present, my limitations seem to be life-size.  I read a job description in my area of expertise and out of ten qualifications, I only have five of them.  The bar is set very high, and it’s hard to even attempt a pathetic jump.  Failing to meet the standard rudely slaps me in the face and fairly shouts, “you have so many limitations!”  I am not powerful, I am weak.  I do not have it all, know it all, have the right connections. Prospective employers ask probing questions, like, “what is your greatest weakness?”  Yet, I’m good!  Why don’t they ask about what I’m good at? They want to find a weakness to disqualify you.  Weaknesst is not something we tolerate well in ourselves, or in others.

I have no real answer for what to do about limitations.  I cannot ignore them while I’m in the world. They are a reality for me, and for so many.  I struggle with what I don’t have, and I hurt for others and what they don’t have.  I bang my head against my limitations (not helpful)!  It’s as if I want to soar like a bird, but don’t have wings!

Can God turn our limitations (i.e. weaknesses) around?  Some say it is just a matter of thinking we can, and we can.  There may be some truth in that.  But to tell a man without legs that if he thinks he can walk, he can, is preposterous and silly.

Perhaps our limitations – ultimately there by God’s design – propel us to develop our strengths, so we might survive and thrive in the world – and be able to help others in a way that we couldn’t if we were not limited.  Helen Keller, the famous leader in the cause of disabilities, was born without hearing and without sight.  The irritating grain of sand that limits the oyster’s comfort turns into a polished pearl of great beauty.

The scriptures do say that the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. I Corinthians 1:25 And again, in II Corinthians 12:9 Paul reports that God said to him,

“My grace is sufficient for you, for  my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Finally, an inconclusive thought about what Jesus told his disciples when they felt limited.  All they needed was faith, like a grain of mustard seed, and they would be able to speak to the mountain and it would move.  Matthew 17:20 I like this…but it is not my experience always. I worship with other believers and feel God’s presence and power, and leave worship to face the same set of limitations I had before I worshipped.  I see others and know the tremendous battles they face daily, and do not see God taking away the limitations…He could, He does, but He didn’t.  Somehow, we find His grace in the midst of our limitations.  Maybe we wouldn’t be able to find His grace any other way.