Who can forget playing “king of the hill” as a kid?  This game could be played anywhere there was a bump in the earth, aka a hill.  While everyone aspired to get to the top of the hill and be ‘king’, only the toughest, strongest, largest, or tallest won. By virtue of his (or her) size, strength, or sheer intimidation, the kid that made it to the top beat the other kids off the hill…and thus, became king.

I don’t ever remember being “king” of the hill.  I was a girl, I didn’t have a chance. Girls seldom made it to the top of the hill.  And, concerns about dirt and getting scratched and punched usually ruled determination to get to the top.  It was more fun to watch the boys fight for the honor.

Wouldn’t you guess that this children’s game appears in every culture in some form or another – across continents and across ethic lines?  It’s such a universal, inbred human theme to be superior to every one else.

On a grander scale in the world it’s how civilizations come and go, throughout history.  Countries and governments rise and fall on the current of power, and the powerful rise to the top, only to be bested by another who is more powerful.  Just a slightly more sophisticated version of “king of the hill.”

Charles Darwin (whose atheistic views have not won me over) also created his theory of the “survival of the fittest” from this same principle that life is a “king of the hill” game.  Due to inherent genetic tendencies, only the strongest survive, the weak die, thus perpetuating a stronger and stronger human species.  So, when you do what you must do to beat the competition, to get to the top, it is a basic survival instinct.

Some believe this. When I watch The Apprentice, I think the players competing for the honor of working for Mr. Donald Trump believe this.  Putting your teammates down, fighting to be number one, arguing about why you are the best one for the apprentice job – it makes for good television and boosts ratings – and eventually gets you in the spot of being “king of the hill,” which is working for Trump, whose has made his life work all about power and money.

Christians, followers of Jesus Christ, do not believe this.  Most are not seeking worldly power and money.  But, the question I am addressing in this essay is whether there is still a search for a “piece of the kingdom.”

I can only speak for myself.  I, like Peter and John, am often blinded by my desire for a corner on the kingdom.  Not the world – I don’t care to have a piece of real estate that I can’t take with me.  But the kingdom, well, that is different.

When I first tasted of God’s grace, I did not want anything, except to be forgiven. The idea of being a new creature in Christ, full of the fruits of the Spirit, was an intoxicating idea to me, and I grasped it.  Christ made all things new, and I wanted “in.”

But after 25 plus years of being “in”, in Christ and around the church, my familiarity with the whole Christian world caused some slippage away from that simple understanding.  Everyone is saved by grace. What’s next, what more?  How can I distinguish myself from all the other churchgoers who are also saved by grace.  It’s like someone, who would ask me about myself, would want more of an explanation than simply “I’m a Christian.” Yes, raised eyebrows?  And what else?

Here’s where I need a piece of the kingdom, like a successful pastor, who has obviously taken that next step on the ladder toward being king of the hill. Obviously (my thoughts go) that person’s prayers are answered.  Look at how successful he is, how well-liked, how articulate, with gifts to preach the gospel that reach the hearts of people and explain the scriptures.  He’s so above the average person that God must have special favor on him.  In the hierarchy before God, he must be closer to the front.

Then, of course, there are the missionaries I know, who have a piece of the kingdom on the other side of the world.  They are doing work to help the poor, treat the sick, or preach the gospel to a foreign people.  Definitely closer to God than average.

Even though I may not effectively do those roles, I knew that I could find, and stake out, a piece of the kingdom for myself. An identity in the kingdom, revolving around my ministry. I lead worship.  I do the coffee on Sunday morning.  I am a bible teacher.  I am on the prayer team.  Or I do meals for the homeless.  Or, I am a reformed Christian, a Catholic, a bible-believing Christian. The piece of the kingdom might be the particular beliefs that distinguish me from every…err…average… other Christians.  And put me closer to the king of the hill…that is, God.

If I am honest, I admit that I want people to see me as spiritual – closer to Jesus than the average. And recognizing this desire, I cringe.  Because I know I do not really know what this means.

The mother of the sons of Zebedee, in the book of Matthew, thought that her sons should have a piece of the kingdom –  a place next to Jesus, like favorites, one on his right, and one on his left.

Jesus answered them, “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am to drink?” (Matt. 20:22)

Jesus further responds with “You will drink my cup, but to sit at my right hand and at my left is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.”

James and John, Zebedee’s sons, did not want to just know and follow Jesus, but to be “up there” in the hierarchy, to have a place right next to Jesus.

Am I the only one who has ever thought that being next to Jesus would be my place in the kingdom?

Instead of remembering that once I was not in the kingdom, and it is only a gift that I am even allowed to be in the kingdom…but now, by God’s grace, freely forgiven and redeemed as a new creation.

David said “I would rather stand at the threshold of the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness.” (Psalm 84:10)

Can I be so grateful for the common grace…that I have tasted the incredible mercy of the King…that the Lord is my portion…that my desire for a piece of the kingdom fades away.  I pray it would be.